Road Trip: The Autistic Way

Two grapes to go for her masterpiece to be complete.

Time is ticking…

The suitcases are in the car, everybody buckled up, and ready to pull out for a long drive. We’ve already anticipated “wiggle room”, as we like to call it. In fact, we called pulling out at 3:30 am, knowing our reality would make it 4:00 am.

It never fails! So, we wait. Amber double checks Nicole’s bag:

• Headphones – never leave home without them.
• Eye Mask – in fact, two or three. Never know which one is going to be on the hate list!
• 4 Different kinds of Juices… Because what she liked and asked for yesterday has changed today.
• 6 Different textures of snacks. Not in their packaging of course! Empty each one into a container that nests inside their box. The colorful packaging is too much to decide. Vision is almost as important as texture.
• “The Notebook” in tow. Where we have gone over for weeks now exactly what we are doing. Ready to go over it again at any given moment.
• In the car, 5 stuffed animals. Not crammed in, but neatly seated in the very back where they can see out the window. Only one gets to ride up front. Extra set of clothes, or ten within reach. Travel wipes, sun block, and a few bathing suits. Maybe one on under her outfit, because she gets to swim in the next few days.

4:00 am, we are rolling out. The other kids muttering under their breath, “about time”, “now we are late”. I offer no explanation. Keep moving forward is the best approach.

The Reset Button

Ok, guys. Amber, what time does the sun rise today?

She is already on her phone looking it up. 7:20. If you fall asleep, who wants me to wake them up to catch the view? They all want to be awake. Nicole isn’t going to be sleeping anyhow. Remember the sun rise in Missouri going over the bridge? What about the one in Virginia where we saw the Dolphins? The chatter from the back seats moves from annoyance to memories.

And on to the second trick I have up my sleeve. We’re stopping for breakfast around 9, hopefully find a Buc-ee’s. The excitement rolls about Buc-ee’s…the other kids now have menus in their brains. Nicole? Which stuffed animal do they have this time? Can I have one? Mission accomplished.

We are now all on the same page, and the grapes left behind, to fend for themselves.

A Moment to Breathe

7:15 am, It has been peaceful so far, a few snores here and there, but uh, quiet. Something we don’t hear often. Nicole…”Is it time to wake everyone up now? I think I see the sky!” And so sleepy eyes emerge from dreamland. A few pictures snapped, an “oohhh,” and an “ahhh,” as the clouds moving along are pointed out, and the colors as day breaks.

An exclamation from the back, a little too loud “I see Olaf in the cloud, I see Olaf!” hey, I see it too! “Look, there is Olaf” I see it! “Do you see Olof? He’s in the cloud!”. Louder now, “I am going to see Olaf. When are we going to see Olaf?”

Ambers magic bag pops open and out comes The Notebook.

Bright colors on the pages, each passage highlighted, and a picture or two that goes along with it. She points to a timeline, “This is where we are,” she nearly whispers to Nicole.

We started here, at 3:30 this morning, and now we are here, just past the sunrise. We are going to stop here for the bathroom. Then jumps a whole page over…and here. This is where we see Olaf. “Olaf is right there? That’s weeks away!” Are you ready? After we get to the new house, we get to swim, and when we wake up in the morning… We go see Olaf. “Yes! I’m going to see Olaf!” Amber continues…”Remember the teacups? They are right here! While the boys go ride the Tron, we will go ride the teacups! Its going to be soo fun, she exclaims as her whole body shudders with excitement. “I see the teacups.”

Amber knows how vicious that hyperfocus can become if not cut off at the right time.

• The Written Schedule: Nicole is just now learning how to read, but she knows the written word is there.
• The pictures: Shows Nicole what she is looking for without having sort out all chaos.
• The timeline: Neatly organized, and color coded to her specific choices, the other kids, and adults have their own colors so we know exactally who is doing what at any given minute.

So far the day is good.

While Amber is focusing on Nicole, I entertain the boys with talk of roller coasters, the vacation rental we are staying in, and the things they are looking forward to in the days ahead. Hit or miss, sometimes Nicole will join in on the conversation around her, sometimes she won’t.

The Bathroom. A normal family: pull in, hop out, hop in, and back on the road. Simple as that. Not us, Nope.

Nicoles Family

Find A Rest Area, definitely not a store. Search out a parking spot where we do not walk by the vending machine sections. Everybody out.. except Nicole, who is still getting her shoes on, fixing her stuffed animals, placing a snack box, finding a spot for her drink.

Trents is my person. Nicole is Ambers, and Bents is Rays. We all have a person team. Know where the other is at all times. Each kids needs are heard, relayed among the adults, and no one is lost. We stretch as we wait, comment on the dogs, maybe a squirrel, and how much longer we have to go.

The Lecture: Stay with Pappy, DO NOT leave his side, do not exit the bathroom without him. Okay, Okay, I got it. Keep your phone in your pocket.

Me and Nicole first. Amber stands guard. We switch as Nicole washes hands, with soap, rinses, more soap, paper towels. She gets paper towels for the lady beside her, tells the lady how we have to wash hands after the bathroom. Now she wants a snack from the machine, she is hungry..didn’t see that one coming did we? Always stay vigilant!

The Resettling

Back on the road we pass out fresh cold drinks from the cooler. Start talks about breakfast and Bucees. The people, the crowd, so many choices of what we can eat. What is everyone thinking about foodwise?

“I want a new beaver” “I can’t wait.” Nicole is not hungry now. Maybe you can find a fruit cup that looks good? “No, I hate fruit. Do they have fourth of July buckees? I don’t have a fourth of July Buckee. Mrs. Winkler needs a Buckee straw, she likes straws in her cup.”

And out comes the Notebook again. We are here, bathroom and breakfast is next..

We will get a fruit cup regardless; someone will end up eating it. And of course, another beaver joins the crowd because sometimes you just have to give a little. And a straw in our bag because Mrs. Winkler (Nicoles partner in crime teacher at school) will love it.

The moment I have been waiting for

10:00 am. Everyone is passed out. Nicole wrapped up in her blanket with the new beaver, mask on, stretched out across Amber, both sleeping soundly. The boys, limbs intertwined, ear buds in, eyelids closed, dreaming of Star Wars, and Pretzels. Ray leaned back and I hear a faint snore escape. I turn the radio on, and keep the wheels rolling in the silence.

Repeat cycle through out the rest of the days travel. Pic Nic area for lunch, hot dogs or sandwiches. a few games along the way, mostly made up but one we found that everyone enjoys, even Nicole is What do you Meme.

Today is going to be a good day!

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, therapist, or Autism specialist. Everything shared in this section is based on our family’s personal experiences, opinions, successes, failures, and lessons learned along the way. Every child and family is different, and what worked for us may not work for everyone.